Hiatus

Just letting all you loyal followers know that I am taking a brief hiatus from blogging while doing a little obligatory traveling to see family. I will be back with stories-a-plenty on June 5th.

What is a church?

I recently found out from a friend of mine that she has joined a Unitarian Universalist Church.
Previously she was a non-practicing Methodist and her husband was a Christian that didn't believe in organized religion.
Now I may be narrow minded, but after doing some reading, I don't think I consider this a church.
There are Jews, Christians, Buddhists, even atheists and agnostics. How does that work? The sermons are mostly secular though they do reference various religious texts, including the Bible. There are no baptisms, but a naming ceremony where families state the child's name and take an oath that basically says they will raise the child to be a decent human being. There is a communion that consists of congregants bringing flowers, putting them in a vase and then taking a different one at the end of the service. The children's program teaches about all religious faiths.
That seems more like a world religions club or a "love thy neighbor" group, but not so much an actual church. Maybe I am just flat out wrong in my definition of a church.
Am I being too close minded?

www.uua.org

My baby's growing up

Today marks the last week of H's Kindergarten year. Her last day is Wednesday.
How did that happen?
I really can remember coming home from the hospital, cuddling up with her through her first winter, seeing her roll over for the first time, sitting in her high chair getting food everywhere. Totally reliant upon us to take care of her.
Now she is 6 and finishing her first year of school. She wakes up on her own, gets dressed on her own, sometimes gets her breakfast ready on her own. Now we just have to drive her places and keep the kitchen stocked and she pretty much does the rest.
Of course there are still a few things that she needs us for. Guidance, advice, lessons, manners, and love. Lots and lots of love. Sprinkled in with hugs and kisses.
I hope she always needs us. I hope she always needs me.

Season finales and series finales

I watch a lot of TV. I like TV and it likes me, no matter what. So lately there have been a lot of endings. A few shows are ending forever. The West Wing. Damn that was a good show. And Will & Grace. That one was pretty good. What I don't like are disappointing endings. Why when a series goes off entirely do they feel they need to fill us in on the entire future. Now West Wing did a great end. It stopped where the show ended. There was no epilogue about how everyone ended up happily ever after. It was the end of a chapter. Will & Grace on the other hand spans about 18 years. Is that necessary?
For shows that will presumably be on next season, I like a good cliffhanger. Something that leaves me wanting for more. Grey's Anatomy, excellent job. CSI, not so much. Is it that hard to throw a curveball at the viewing audience? Or are most of our attention spans just too sh... what was I talking about?

De-friending

De-friending. Are there only a few of us out there that do this? I know Manda has, but that is the only one that I can think of. I think more of us should de-friend.
This is another ongoing discussion I have with my husband.
If he has ever met you, he is your friend and will want to meet up with you for beers whenever you are around. That is a good thing and a bad thing. It is good because the man likes just about everyone and they like him. He is a lovable guy. He gets along with almost everyone he has ever met. It is a bad thing because that's a lot of people to want to spend time with.
I am almost the opposite. I get along well with most people. I think most people like me. But I don't want 15 best friends. I want a few. Just a few really close friends. Too many spreads me too thin. I already have such limited time with them, imagine if there were 10 more I had to try to keep up with.
And just because I was friends with someone ten years ago, doesn't mean that I would be friends with them if I met them today. We change. Everyone does. Priorities shift, tragedies happen, moves occur, families begin. Things change.
When there is someone that I just don't think is friend material anymore, I phase them out. Well that or I have a screaming argument with them over a really big issue and then never speak to them again. Admittedly, not the best way to handle the situation but still highly effective.
I don't think my husband has de-friended anyone, ever. His best friends are still the same group from junior high. Some even from elementary school.
My husband would say that I am too hard on people. I say why waste time with people that don't make you smile? Or that even make you feel badly about yourself or the world?
We all have a finite number of days on this earth. Why not surround ourselves with only those select people that make us laugh.
That are there when we are having the worst days of our lives.
That don't turn away when we screw up.
That love us.
For who we are.
No matter what.

Bookmarks

While having all kinds of issues with my computer, I have somehow inadvertantly deleted my husband's bookmarks.
He is not happy about it.
Now I know that can be annoying, but really if you go to a site frequently enough, don't you know how to find it again pretty quickly? Shouldn't it be rather easy to build your list back up? And if they aren't sites that you go to often, then why are they bookmarked?
I admit that I have a tendency to over-bookmark. I'll bookmark something that I want to look at another time, and then I never go to it. Then when I periodically edit/organize my bookmarks, I think, "Why on earth did I bookmark that?" Then delete it.
So even though it sucks that his bookmarks are gone, it really wasn't intentional and it shouldn't be held against me.

Bad day for monkeys

Poor little monkey...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060516/ap_on_fe_st/netherlands_bear_eats_monkey_2

Out of the house

I actually got out of the house this weekend without one or more kids. It was liberating.
Amanda came over and Beckett was napping so she didn't get a chance to see him. She did however get a chance to sketch the Garden of Eden with Harper. 'Cause what else does a six year old want to do on a Saturday morning? Then Manda and I were off to do some shopping. We hit TJ Maxx, Michael's, Target, and Blue Chip Cookies. Then lunched at Fritz Co. Grille. Not all in that order.
Did you know that cookies at Blue Chip Cookies are over $16 for a dozen? They were good and larger than most little cookies, but not worth that much. Jeesh.
And when we got back here, Beckett was taking his second nap so Manda missed him again. She did get to peak in on him sleeping though. Hope that will tide her over until the next visit.
It was great to get out without the little ones. I love them dearly, but I love them better when I get a chance to recharge a bit. And thank God I did recharge as I spent all day yesterday catching up on laundry, changing sheets, making ever more baby food, rearranging furniture, and unpacking some things that hadn't been unpacked yet.
Yes, I have lived here over 6 months. No, I am not done unpacking.

Gifts

Mother's Day is almost here. And this year it happens to fall on my husband's birthday and the day before our 7th wedding anniversary. That poses a problem. Whose day will it be? Will it be all about me? Will it be all about Jim? Will it just be a cluster of celebration?
I haven't thought of what I am getting or what I will do for the b-day or anniversary. I have thought about what will be done for Mother's Day. I love presents. I really do. I love real surprises. Not ones that I am told about. My husband says I hate them. That is not true. I just don't like being told a gift has been bought and then not getting it. Just don't tell me and then I won't pester you to give it to me.
And when it comes to gifts, hubby isn't that great. He tries. God love him, he tries. But he isn't a great gift giver or big romantic or any of those things. And I am pretty easy. I love everything. I love books, movies, music, clothes, make up, dinner, things for the house. You name it, I like it. Except chocolate.
One year I received nothing for Mother's Day. When I inquired about it, hubby told me I wasn't his mother. Whoa. Ok. My daughter was about 3 at the time so I was pretty sure she was not going to be able to get me something without a little help. That was a low point in the gift giving history.
And a lot of times I get almost what I wanted. Example: a few Christmases ago, I wanted a particular robe. I got one almost like it, but not quite. Not wanting to seem ungrateful, I kept it, but everytime I wear it, I think about how it isn't quite as soft as the one that I had told him about.
Sometimes it gets blamed on my eldest. He really lets her pick out my gifts. Doesn't steer her towards anything. This resulted in me receiving a fat, plastic frog for the garden and a very large box of jelly beans. I don't really garden or have an affinity towards frogs nor do I eat candy really.
He knows how I feel about the gift giving. He even tells me to just make a list. But to me that takes away from it. I don't want to tell him what to get me. I want him to make a note when I mention something or file it in the back of his brain for future use. I want it to be a thoughtful thing. I know that may be asking a lot and just be begging for disappointment. Maybe I should just go buy it myself and put his name on it. Then it would at least be a surprise to someone and I'd end up with what I want. But that's no fun.
It's hard to reconcile. I feel badly that I don't love the presents. But the fact is that I don't.

Hilarious

Monkeys are always funny. Especially when they talk. And even more so when you can tell them what to say.

http://www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail/

And there are a couple of things that I found on the American Copywriter blog http://americancopywriter.typepad.com/blog/ that are definitely worth checking out.

http://www.shaveeverywhere.com/ Be sure to look at it all: the testimonials, the music video, the question/answer section, all of it.

and this one is a little disturbing, but very clever
http://www.naughtynads.com/index.asp?Page=Rudy

Frustration

My email is jacked up and it's driving me crazy. I cannot send an attachment. When I click on attach after locating the file I get a pop up that says "Invalid file specified. Please try again."
Well I have tried again. And again. And again. And a million more times. With different files. To different email addresses.
I just spent about 30 minutes live chatting with some dude names Clint from AT&T DSL tech support. He had me restart and a few other things that didn't work then told me to call some number. So I called and talked to Marcus for a while and did a few things that didn't work and then was transferred to Dale in the 2nd Tier Support who had me do a system restore twice and that didn't work. After being on the phone 47 minutes and 30 seconds basically I was told that there wasn't anything wrong with my account and they don't know why it isn't working.
Uh, is that it? I am no further to a solution. I still can't send attachments. That's really annoying.
And I have no idea what else to try.
Can I just never send another attachment? Grrrrrrr.

Nothing to say

I haven't really come up with anything to talk about today. Oh, the monster truck didn't meet its reserve on eBay so we haven't sold it yet. There were over 1100 page views, 39 watchers, and 14 bids, but it didn't go high enough. We have had a call about it, a dude named Lowell that lives in Iowa. Jim is supposed to call him back. I think Jim is putting off selling this thing. It's like his third child.
I can't wait for it to be gone.

One size, my ass

I hate anything that is "One Size Fits All." Who on earth would fall for that? There is nothing in the world that I can think of that will fit everyone. I am tiny, and my experience has been that one size fits all refers to some sort subculture of giants that I know nothing about. There is no way that XXL shirt is really going to fit everyone. Occasionally I have seen "One Size Fits Most." And again that must be referring to the society of giants. Even then it is just "most" of them.
Even things that are size specific often seem more random than they should. Old Navy seems to run really big. Some of those clothes can literally fall off my hips in a size that normally fits perfectly. And length. Are there that many 6 feet tall women that wear a size 0 or 2? I know there are some, but I have a feeling that most are not.
When did this stuff get so complicated and why?

No fun

The other day my husband jokingly said that I was no fun. The truth is, I'm not. Well a little fun and under certain circumstances, but generally I am no fun.
I'm not sure when that happened.
I used to be really fun. I was up for anything and did all kinds of things. I loved trying something new and introducing others to things I had tried. I used to be ready to do anything anytime with anyone. I was fun.
Now I am not.
Maybe being a parent zapped some of the fun out. I have incredible responsibilities now. I can't just run out the door when the mood strikes me. I have to change the baby, make sure Harper has her shoes on, check to see if there are diapers in the bad, pack a drink or two, etc. Or if I have a sitter I am bound by time. I have to be home in 2.3 hours. Or maybe it's due to lack of sleep. I haven't had a good night's sleep since... well since I was pregnant with the first one in 1999. That tends to suck the fun out of you.
I need to loosen up. I want my kids to think I am fun and more importantly, happy. I want to have fun with them. I need to just let the laundry wait, and sweep the floor another time. I need to sit down and color or paint or run through bubbles in the backyard.
But how do I turn my mind off? How do I stop that ongoing list in my head? Not forever, just long enough to have a little fun?

The end is near

I have been lamenting lately that my nursing days are coming to a close. I have nursed both of my kids. And I have to say it is the greatest way to bond with a child that I know of and to force yourself to slow down and just admire a baby. There are certainly downfalls: your wardrobe is limited, leaking is a constant issue, and not being able to leave the baby with others for any extended period of time. But I wouldn't change anything about it.
With my first child I was always looking forward to what was next. Smiling, sitting up, crawling, walking, etc.
Now I know better.
With my son, I almost dread the next thing. I don't want him to grow up so fast. Yes, I know it is inevitable. And yes I appreciate all the milestones when they happen, but I'm not ready for them.
I've found myself really taking my time with things recently. He eats mostly solids and only nurses for 15 minutes before nap and bedtime if I am the one putting him to bed. I watch him. I watch his little mouth working so furiously. I watch him move his little hands. I watch him scrunch his eyes up. And I reluctantly lay him down when it is time.
I think this may be my last baby. And it makes me sad to know I won't hold another one of my own little helpless newborns. I won't get to rub the perfect and unparalleled softness. I won't get to smell the perfect scent.
And if I think about it too hard, I actually tear up.
My daughter came downstairs last night at bedtime and told me I didn't need to check on her since she is a big girl. I wasn't prepared for that. An innocent comment from her was another milestone that I have dreaded. She is a big girl, but she is still my baby.
I'll never stop checking on my kids. Never.

I got mail!

Yesterday in my mailbox I found the most wonderful surprise. A letter. A real, handwritten note from a dear friend of mine. We email frequently and talk often on the phone. There was no news in it. It was just a simple card that said she was glad to be my friend and a few other simply wonderful compliments.
That might be the greatest piece of mail I've ever received. It truly made me smile from the inside out and made me feel good all day. I read it to my daughter, my mother-in-law, and my husband. I love it!
And it made me think how rare it is. We don't write anything anymore, and we never tell those that matter to us just how much they matter. If we do, we never tell them enough.
So my new goal is to start doing just that. I am going to make a point to send little notes letting people know that I am thinking of them and glad that they are in my life. If they feel half of what I felt, it'll make their day.
And I think we should all make that effort a little more often. It's amazing how something so simple can make the day so much brighter.
Thank you, Amanda. And I feel the same way about you.

My first time

Get your head out of the gutter!
My first time on eBay. And we went BIG. We are selling our 4x4 truck.
Anyway, I cannot believe the intricacies of eBay. First of all, navigating through the process just to get the item listed was a chore. So many choices. Do we want BOLD? Or italics? How many pictures do we want? Do we think a slideshow would sell it at a higher price?
But now that it is done, we wait. Or do we? We've had a few calls and emails asking what it would take to buy it outright. So do we sell it that way and take the listing down? There have been 6 bids and there are 13 people watching it. Do we wait and hope it goes higher? Do we wait just to see how it ends? We did set the reserve a little high so as not to ruin our chances of getting a higher amount because we thought after the reserve is met, people will be less likely to keep bidding higher. Is that the case or are we reading way too much into it.
I have to say eBay is fun and frustrating at the same time. I check our listing often just to see if there are new bids or if the number of views have changed.
Maybe that is why people are so into it. It's like gambling only with a prize. And if you don't win, you aren't really out anything.

Feeding the problem or becoming a toucher?

I read an article that Americans don't touch each other enough (no, not in the creepy way). We sometimes shake hands, occasionally hug, but other than that, we are much more isolated than ever. With mobile phones, PDAs, IM, email, and BLOGS (!) we just don't have the need to be around other humans when there are so many other ways to communicate.
Now I am a slave to my email, and I have a mobile phone, and obviously I've started blogging. But this piece of news makes me sad. I do have a few friends that are huggers. But for the most part, I don't touch anyone other than my husband and kids. How awful.

The power of touch was heralded in the article. Just a simple cheek kiss or pat on the back. Not to mention hand holding and cuddling. These things lower stress levels and blood pressure. Can even give you that sense of calm and a feeling that things are OK or at least they will be. And not just with your significant other, but your parents and your friends. People. Just people that need a little interaction.

I make a point to embrace my family. They get kisses all of the time. We snuggle up to read or watch movies. I hope we don't outgrow it. I hope we are always a touchy-feely family.

I am going to make the effort. I will be a more gracious hand shaker, linger longer with my hugs, maybe even hold a few hands. Or at least wrap an arm around the shoulder for more than 3 seconds.

Seems like people need a little comfort these days.